why is it that i never really know what i'm doing?

i went to school. got the 27k in debt to prove it. they taught me all kindsa nifty stuff.

and yet, what do i do when an 8 year old pees on the floor in a stream from the self checks to the kids computers? (and just how big is an 8 year old's bladder anyway?) what do i do when a man with garlic and steak breath professes his undying love to me. again. for the 3rd time today.

this is a chronicle of what i did, when the crazy happened. which, in a public library is much more often than you'd think. and which, they also don't teach you about in liberry skool.

oh, and there's also a book review or two.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

think and grow...happy?

thoughts on the Happiness Advantage part 3.

So, I posted about how we mimic happiness and we spread emotions like a virus. This post is all about 'fake it till you make it'.


Did you know that our brains are wired to be repetitive? This helps us tremendously in our daily lives. Think about it; do you focus on brushing your teeth each time you do it like it is new to you? No, you do it out of habit with very little focus at all. Habits keep us from being drained just getting out the door in the morning by allowing us to focus on new things, new ideas, our inner turmoil, that stupid song we can't get out of our heads (thanks a lot Brittany Spears), whatever. Habits make things go to the background so that we can focus on our foreground, whatever that may be.

A recent study showed that our brains have something scientists have dubbed 'Tetris Effect'. Students who played Tetris for hours on end even when they stop, their brain still sees the tetris shapes in everything around them. Buildings, pencils, their kids... This is called Cognative After Image. It works the same way as when we spend all day complaining, focussing on the negative, feeling angry at the world. Our brain, even after we stop being angry, still focuses on little, irritating things. Our Cognative After Image becomes negative through our focus. We see what we pay attention to. Everything else slips into the back ground.

Relating to habits, our brain filters things for us in order to keep us from being overwhelmed. Unfortunately, we can’t trust our brain’s spam filter. Sadly, we are not good programmers (usually). We train our brain to scan and it scans only for what it is programmed to find. If it is set to delete the positive from our day, we actually lose the positive. We only see what we look for and miss the rest. We end up programming our brains to tetrisize all the little annoying things around us (seriously, why can't my husband put his dirty socks in the HAMPER???).

A person who focuses on the negative, predicts doom before meetings, despairs at the work load, etc., isn't usually trying to be difficult or grumpy, their brains are just really good at scanning for the negative. They have been honed and trained to do so through practice. In the work world, we are actually rewarded for noticing problems that need fixing, and so we even focus on problems and the negative at work. A person who programmed their brain this way literally can’t see the positives, opportunities for growth, etc. This raises stress levels, lowers motivation and affects our ability to achieve goals.

Fortunately, we can re-train our brains to focus on the positive and delete the negative. You can litterally fake your way into being a more positive person. Here are some tips:
  •  Think about something that makes you happy before you begin work, you will work harder, better, faster, etc.
  • Spend 5 minutes at the end of each day, (perhaps in bed before you go to sleep), thinking about 5 things to be grateful for. It can be as simple as, 'that guy held the door for me when I was in a rush' or, 'that vegan pudding at the party that Terry brought tasted really good'. A few days of this will train your brain to look for positive things rather than negative things.
  • Write one thank you note per week. (hey, Mutt Lee Money counts!). This forces you to think back, and again, scan for the positive, rather than the negative.
  • Journal about positive experiences in your life once a week.
  • Give a gift. A small gift can really make someone else happy, which, as you know from prior emails, can make YOU happy.
  • Practice, Practice, Practice! Use a calendar to remind you, keep necessary items where you need them (like a journal and pencil near your bed).
  • Involve others!! Get your kids/mom/friends doing the task with you. This will multiply the benefits, creating a more positive outlook for everyone around you, AND keep you on track:)

No comments:

Post a Comment