news from lake bookbegone

old lady comes up to me from our teen space screaming that we've moved the newspapers and how dare we. i point out where the newspapers are and she walks away muttering under her breath about how we're always rearranging crap on her.....we remodeled around a year and a half ago. i bet 1980 seems like yesterday to her.


crazy drunk indian guy passed out in the mens room just before closing....on the toilet. *sigh* yeah, it took a while. then, when i've finally roused him and he's walking out of the building he goes: iii''mmm shorry 'bout that. and one of our circ attendands goes: that's ok, you have a great night. ???? that's ok? ummmmm, no. my 9 hour day turning into an almost 10 hour day because some drunk assed idiot thinks our TOILET is a good place to sleep is NOT ok. i feel another c.w.i.w.t.b.s. rant coming on soon.

the alarm wouldn't set at closing and after we tried turning it off and on and tried 2 different codes i called the alarm room. he tells me i should try turning it off. i tell him i've done that around 15 times now. he tells me in a really slow voice: you need to put in your code and then press off. asshole. fuck him. i have a fucking masters degree, think i can't follow the written directions on the keypad that i've been doing for like, 7 years now? what does he do anyway? read a screen and call the cops when something beeps? dickhead. (notice the donuts?) turns out, someone was working on it that day and set it to 'test' and didn't turn it back. fucking alarm guy.

grodey mustache guy who always situates himself to watch the children's and teen areas has finally been banned WOOOHOOOO!!! (he had actually shaved, thinking he was disguising himself from us) he was following 2 little girls around the library (where the FUCK was their mom????) and sat down next to them to 'chat'. sicko. the cops had our back on this one...YAY COPS!

we had a giant craft with dragon paper bag puppets. i had a momentary lapse in judgement and put in sequins for the kids to glue on as 'scales'. the meeting room looked like 2 christmas trees had a boxing match. and there are sequins all over the library. the dragons looked cool though

and, i got invited to the bachelorette party of miss jeriann out in the woods in a cabin with 10 girls. i know, my hubby already said that's how all good pornos and horror movies start, but i'm still looking forward to it.

funny old men

it continually amazes me, given the size of my wedding ring and the number of comments it illicits, that men perpetually ask me out while i am at work. those of you who work a public service desk know that sinking feeling you get in your gut when some old perv walks up and starts to tell you his life story. trapped, is the word that describes that feeling. and of course, we smile and nod and pretend to be interested...so, maybe that is why. 


seriously tho, jenna jamison i am not, but out of that guy's league, i am. the latest one, late 40's, horrible red sweater stretched over a bulbous belly with bad shoes, wierd glasses and bald with hair sticking out over his ears. he told me about his new job and how he has to get up at 5 am and how he slept in this morning and was late. he uttered the prase 'it payz da bills ya know', looking totally out of place and sounding like a grown up who says things like: phat, sick wid it, and blazin'.

he handed me his business card and told me to 'give me a buzz some time, ya know, if ya want'.

so, i am sitting here, business card in front of me, this guy has left to go over to the computers and i am wondering, is it bad etiquette to throw it away now, or should i wait until he leaves the room? what if i am off desk first? should i leave it for the next librarian? or should i take it with me and throw it away in the back? if he sees me carrying it tho, he may get ideas. but i don't want to hurt his feelings and have him see me toss it at the desk. 

sigh.

i'm torn between feeling sorry for him and....not.....

abandoned

everyone should be sterelized at birth


seriously. and then they should have to apply to have children.  i haven't yet worked out who should be in charge of the applications, but i'll let y'all know when my master plan is finished:)

so, last storytime, as i was cleaning up, an 8 year old and 7 year old walk up to me with a 4 year old. 8 year old: 'ummm, we can't find her mom.' *pointing to the 4 year old*

me: 'ok, we'll just walk around, she's probably on the computer.'

8 year old: 'we already did that.'

my teen volunteer tells me she knows what the mom looked like, i send her outside to see if the mom is smoking. storytime is over at 6:45 and we close at 7:00. it is now 6:50 and no mom.

8 year old: 'i know her phone number.'

me: 'great, let's call her!' no answer.

6:55, no mom.

7:00, the dad wanders in. still no sign of mom. my security guard says to him: 'you can't just leave your kids at the library, we are not responsible for your kids.'

dad's response: 'well, she was in storytime.'

yeah, her and 20 other kids i don't know.

ummmm, mom never said anything to me. mom never checked to see what time storytime was over. mom never checked to see what time we close. that 4 year old could have walked out of the building with ANYONE and i would have never known to stop her.

*sigh*  why do people keep breeding children they don't really want and don't take care of properly?

zen

ok, so, after putting on my 4th shirt and 2nd pair of pants this morning, i realized that my job is not entirely conducive to my goal of being a pool goddess by september. not that its the actual job, mind you, although, i do spend an innordinant amount of time on my ass since i got into management and had to wade into paperworkland...no, its the damned break table.

what the hell is wrong with library people that they have to force sweet, yummy chocolate on everyone?? i've never had a job with so many readily available goodies in one place...free for the taking. now, i can pass up the m & m cookies, the chocolate chocolate chip cookies, the coconut rolled dates, the hard candy, the whitman's white and dark, and the donuts (no lie, these are all on the table RIGHT NOW)....but what asshole put out the kit kat bites???? must have been some jerk that can eat whatever they want and never be 15 lbs overweight


who can pass up a kit kat bite? sweet, crunchy, little ball...200 calories for like, five. sigh. that's my entire allotment for breakfast. i wonder, could i live off of kit kat bites?

so, now i am realizing that my goal to be zen this year may be a little harder to reach as well, eh? what with me being pissed off about my ass every time i walk in the door to work.

the pen incident

so, someone comes up to complain about an old dude in the magazines section who is really loud and keeps yelling 'GAWD DAMN!'


i go over, and it's this ancient guy...about 150, another ancient guy about 100, with another, much younger guy. a train wreck of a friggen guy.

and, younger guy.....dude is all wrong. he's crossed the line into surreality

i mean, everyone has something wrong with them.

some people have big noses. some people are hugely overweight, some have stringy, greasy hair. some have beady, close-together eyes and a uni brow. some have shapeless, holey, ill-fitting clothes. some have gargantuan clown feet. some have coke-bottle glasses and some even wear pocket protectors. this dude, had all that, plus a fanny pack.

but he actually has nothing to do with the pen incident. i just had to tell you about him. poor unlucky bastard.

anyway, i go up to old dudes and train wreck guy and i tell them, 'i'm sorry to bother you, i don't know if you realize this but we can hear you across the library.'

older dude looks at me and says he's sorry, but it was really a way for him to get me over there so he could get a good look at my fine ass.
that's right. he said fine ass.
so, i'm like, uh, yeah, thanks, butchya still gotta keep it down.

so then, old dude holds his pen over the ground and asks me if he drops it, will i pick it up?
seriously.
jack ass.

so i go in the back and am warning all the other ladies to stay away from magazines because of the pen, when one of our pages (she's like 60) comes up and goes: 'oh my god, i picked up that pen and handed it to him!'

that old fucker. it actually worked.