snippetz

before i go out to the desk, i finish compiling the storytime surveys we've just done. strangely, the most legible ones with complete sentances all come from the parents who claim to only read to their children 0-2 times per week.

when i get to the desk i see that all our stacks of handouts have been rearranged, mussed, mixed up and otherwise messified. i spend 5 minutes straightening them.

a little boy comes up and says: " i know this guy who says he knows another....ummmm...guy...and ummmm...do you have any books about billie jean?" me: "like in the michael jackson song?" him: "ummm...yeah." me: "that's not a real girl." him: "i thought he was a guy." me: "kid, you really need to listen to that song again."

our library is like a giant warehouse with all the REALLY tall book stacks in the middle and seating around the edges. the effect is that you can hear EVERYTHING but can't see shit. i hear some 3 or 4 kids running aound playing army or whatever. i walk down adult fiction where i heard them. only to get to the end and hear them coming from Spanish. i walk toward Spanish and hear them in the teen section. i walk toward the teen section and hear them in children's non-fiction. i walk over there and see 20 kids all looking angelic and wide eyed, reading books. i hear them again and give up.

when i get back to the desk, dude in a West Side Leisure Suit is there all pissed off. he swears he never checked out that book 'the art of making love'. "like i need it," he winks.

there is a 2 year old running in circles screaming. i give it the normal minute to see if any parents will pick the kid up. they don't. i get the kid and start asking around. dude 10 feet away says he's the dad. i tell him he needs to watch his kid. his response: that's his mother's job.

i get back to the desk to find that every single stack of paper is mussed, spread around and mixed with all the other stacks.